Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Changing Dreams





Model drawing I did at FIT

Found the final term garment I made at FIT
My Ladybug dress


When I was a junior, I knew exactly what I was going to do after high school. I only applied to one college, the Fashion Institute of Technology. A friend of the family graduated from FIT and raved about their fashion design program and the high reputation of the school. Her passion clinched my decision…I would become a successful fashion designer.  

I was so sure.

My dad urged me to apply to other schools “just in case you don’t get accepted.” He read how hard it was to get into FIT. Not a good idea to “throw all my eggs in one basket,” but that’s what I did. I earned the grades, wrote the essay, and prepared a portfolio of my artwork. I was confident until I stepped onto the city campus. Nothing like a million people to make one feel small. And the most interesting, stylish, beautiful of the million stood in the same room as me, waiting for their interview to attend FIT. My thoughts:

·         I’m as fashionable as a country mouse.

·         My portfolio is shrinking.

·         Why did I wear a pink skirt? I should’ve died my hair pink instead.


Three professors looked through my artwork while asking me questions about my art, life, and goals. They didn’t seem that impressed with my artwork until they saw my pencil sketch of a chick breaking through an egg. I explained it was a project for the theme “trapped.” That one drawing may have been what got me into FIT. It had nothing to do with fashion. 

I should have realized then, I was an artist, not a fashionista, but I tried. I bought vintage clothing downtown and died my hair magenta. Black clothes replaced pink and pastels. After a year of working my butt off toward my dream, my dream changed. New goal: 

·         Finish my second year in fashion design and switch to illustration

·         Give up sewing—never pick up a needle and thread again, avoid buttons, bury my sewing machine

·         Find the peace my roommate has in knowing God…she didn’t have nervous breakdowns doing her homework 

I was so sure.  

After having a blast as an illustration major for two years, my direction yielded again to my latest plans…get married. Our wedding was two months after graduation. Since I got involved with a church in Manhattan, a friend there offered me a job working for Bridal Guide Magazine. I couldn’t have planned a better job to have while engaged. 

At this point in my young life, I thought I finally knew my direction. Married, living in the suburbs thirty minutes from Manhattan, working as a freelance illustrator, learning about Jesus. 

I was so sure because I didn’t know the surprises life would bring as God braided my dreams, desires, and experiences into a better plan.  

Somehow my original career choice to become a fashion designer led me here: 

·         Managed a group home with my husband for mentally handicapped adults one year

·         Blessed with five kids and the chance to homeschool them for many years

·         Discovered my passion for writing surpassed my love of art


I was stubborn, but God used my stubbornness and determination to lead me to Him. I can’t say I’m sure of what I’ll do tomorrow or next week or next year, but I’ll continue to strive toward goals and see where He leads me.

Combining passions: My novel. Cover designed by me.






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